“…if you say, I will”

I have been in the slow process of creating this blog for a year.

I have spent that time veering from excitement to abject fear.

I questioned my worthiness to write, to share my story and to advise others.

I made it clear that I believed that I was not qualified to speak out on any issues much less faith issues.

It has taken me a year to return from my Jonah-Esq escape from my calling in which I allowed myself to be blinded. In many ways, in a time when I thought I was closest to God, a time in which I was actively building my relationship with Him, I was moving further away.

The sin of disobedience is a hard one to admit, especially when on the surface it doesn’t seem ‘that bad’.

In the natural I am not at all qualified to speak. I do not have the credentials, nor do I live a life to be proud of, and, yet God kept calling me.

Words I should have said aloud, should have written and explored; words I should have shared with others,  I literally hid in a draw.

I cannot say that this journey is going to be easy but what I will say – at last – is ‘…if you say, I will’ (Luke 5:5 NSRV)

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